Drunken Wisdom

Intoxicating Gibberish From the Guy at the End of the Bar

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Black Widow Fact

May 21st, 2013 · 1 Comment

  So I had black widow build its web in my garage. She was by far the largest I’d ever seen, though I know that they CAN get bigger. Body was roughly the size of a nickel, and she was easily the size of a half dollar, overall. Anyway, she set up camp in a corner that sees no human traffic, so I let her be.

I let her go about a week before I finally mentioned to my roommate that she was there… he just happened to wander through that area, so I figured to give him a heads up. He. flipped. out.

It was annoyingly hilarious. He kept going on and on about how I needed to kill it. I pointed out that it was nailing roaches as they came into the garage… she was welcome. “Thousands of people die from them!” Whatever, dude. I finally told him that if he was that uncomfortable, he could move her.  A short while later, he came in making the slashing motion across his throat.

Next morning, he kept talking about how we had avoided death… especially me. When I park in the garage, if my windows are down, I leave them down. This, I found out, is how I could have died.

My roomie explained that black widows climb into cars and crawl under the seats, biting the unsuspecting victims in the leg. I thought he was trying to pull my leg, but the seriousness… and near terror… on his face told me that it was no joke. It was near impossible not to laugh at him… and I’ve been chuckling ever since.

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1 response so far ↓

  • 1 Joan of Argghh! // May 28, 2013 at 4:29 pm

    What? He didn’t tell you to google it?

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