Drunken Wisdom

Proof of Professor T1G’s evil plans to become immortal

Zonker — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 15:12:12 +0000

Heavy drinkers outlive nondrinkers, study finds

(Reminder: Insert picture of Dr. Evil with underwear on this head here)

Required viewing

Zonker — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 01:13:20 +0000

via The Belmont Club

Warp Riders

T1G — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 14:29:06 +0000

Via Blabbermouth, The Sword is now streaming their new album, in its entirety, on their Myspace page. I’m only five songs into it, but I’m already excited about the album’s release… sounds like it is going to be another great one!

Eye Irritants

T1G — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 18:38:23 +0000

When trimming your eyebrows, it’s best to keep your eye closed.

The title says it all

Zonker — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 13:21:20 +0000

Man arrested at Mexico City airport with 18 tiny endangered monkeys stuffed inside girdle

A Reunion

T1G — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 01:19:51 +0000

A few of us are planning a little get together, a reunion of 2nd LAI/LAR, Bco, in Vegas. Emails and comments back and forth have been entertaining, with my favorite quote, so far, being, “The good news is my wife works at the jail. No problems there!!!”

This should be a blast…

Catburger Helper

T1G — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 00:03:58 +0000

I loves me some Hamburger Helper. Quick, easy, and tasty. I usually add minced garlic and habarneros or jalapenos while I’m browning the burger, and a handful of Mexican cheese when it’s finished, and meals for the next three lunches are done. Well… I did love me some Hamburger Helper. I believe I am done.

An experiment. Take one container, which had recently contained Dos H’s Crunchy Taco meal, (do not rinse) and seal said container, forgetting it for two days. On second day, open and stand back. Do you recognize that scent assaulting you? Yes, that’s right… cat piss. Freakin’ CAT. PISS…

A Hestonian epiphany… “Crunchy Taco is made out of cat piss!” I’d sooner eat soylent green. That is, as long as I can be assured that my exophagous beliefs wouldn’t be violated. I like my family, but I don’t think I’d LIKE my family. And there would be some nutritional value in the green wafers. What benefit is there in cat urine? I can think of none…

Looking at the cupboard, I guess there’s no need to be too hasty. There are a couple boxes more. I think I’ll try some Double Cheesy Quesadilla, and see if this does the same thing…

For those readers who use AVG anti-virus…

Zonker — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 21:05:09 +0000

Today my AVG anti-virus has been whining about “a bin file is missing”. Apparently it’s related to a recent anti-virus update. Anyhow, just follow the instructions here:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080816144539AAYObI0

…and you’ll be back in business.

And I didn’t even have to help carry the couch

Zonker — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 23:51:34 +0000

LeeAnn moved. Just wanted to let ya know so ya’ll can update your links, your bookmarks and apparently, in some cases…errr…your tattoos.

Criticizing Obama

Zonker — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 23:57:13 +0000

…because he didn’t go far enough?!

“Progressive activists who helped elect Barack Obama president complained on Monday that the administration and congressional Democrats have been too timid and too willing to compromise.”

There’s also a tidbit in there about how the last year’s stimulus package was “inadequate at $787 billion”. Inadequate. Well, I’ve given a great deal of thought to the issues discussed in this news article and I’ve come to the inescapable conclusion that progressive activists are fucking morons.

(T1G, sorry for the language.)