Drunken Wisdom

Seriously, why the hell is The Who the halftime act for this year’s Super Bowl? Enough is enough, dammit.

As T1G posted here, a good and honorable man is running for office…and we all know how rare that breed is, don’t we? Well, today’s election day! For those of you who live in Chicago’s 41st district, please remember to get out and vote for Matt Burden, aka Blackfive, today.

And if you don’t live in that district, please help by spreading the word!

Official campaign website

Matt’s post announcing his candidacy

Army Master Sgt. C. J. Grisham has always led from the front, from combat that earned him the Bronze Star with V device, to doing right by the men he led. His honesty won him readership and respect, from the White House on down. Yet, when he stood up for his children in school, his command did not stand by him. You can read more at Military Times to get the full story.

Please donate via PayPal; or you can log into PayPal on your own, go to the send money page, and put in his email:

dj_chcknhawk AT yahoo DOT com

…or you can send donations directly to the following address:

Grisham Legal Fund
c/o Redstone Federal Credit Union
220 Wynn Drive
Huntsville, AL 35893
Please write “Grisham Legal Fund” in the memo line if you use this option.

Milblogs have been a vital link in getting accurate news and information about the military, and military operations, to you. Today, many milblogs are gone and others are under attack from within and without. Today, you have the chance to imagine a world without milblogs, and to do something about it. Make your voice heard by writing your congressional representatives and others, and by making donations as you see fit.

The battle for freedom of speech and the marketplace of ideas is fought on many fronts and in many ways. Without your help, the battle may well be lost.

I know Halloween was last month but if you’d like to see something scary, check this out*. The problems we face today were not created by the current administration. The problems are, however, certainly being exacerbated by the current administration’s continued mistakes.

One other thing that I’d like to point out: I am sick and tired of the “we inherited this mess” excuse. That only works up to a point and we are well past that by now. I inherited my hearing loss from my father but that doesn’t mean that I blame my father every time I have to ask someone to repeat something. Trying to pass off responsibility like that is complete and utter horseshit. The hearing loss is now mine. I own it. It’s now up to me to deal with it. Likewise, America’s economic woes have their roots in previous administrations. Nonetheless, it’s high time our president started taking responsibility. I have no faith that he’ll actually do so but it sure would be nice, wouldn’t it?

* link via Grab The Apple

Anyone else feel really good about their job? How about the US economy in general? Personally, I think we’re hosed. Decades of subsidized “free money” programs for every special interest group under the sun…a politically-correct culture that permits - no, encourages - mediocrity…plus an out-of-control government that views its citizens as a tax base and nothing more…well, I think we’re seriously screwed.

The other day I sat in a very depressing meeting with my manager and some of my colleagues. Let me admit up front that I’m not much of a team player. I don’t like micromanagement and those projects that succeed seem to do so in spite of project managers’ efforts. Me? I much prefer to be given goals and turned loose. My applications are released on-time and well within budget. I make sure that I take good care of my applications’ users. Furthermore, as I’ve repeatedly told various bosses over the last few years, “My shit works.” I am proud to say that I do good work and I have the track record to prove it. So imagine my distress at listening to my boss tell me that no work may be done unless it’s approved, prioritized and scheduled by senior management. That 20% of effort that resolves 80% of the business users’ needs? Not gonna happen unless they go to their management team and get the paperwork completed, approved, prioritized and scheduled. As he put it, “there’s going to be fewer people working on fewer projects.” Also, I’m not to talk to the business to find out what they need. Everything has to go through a centralized project management team. So basically we’re going to be less responsive by adding more process/management to an already constipated workflow. All of this, of course, is being pitched as “we’re doing this for the business. It’s going to help them.” Apparently by being less responsive to their needs, the business units are supposed to realize all that IT does for them. As a wise man once pointed out, you cannot make this shit up. Perhaps now you understand why when I refer to the MIS department’s management team, I call them “the MIS-management team”. Probably doesn’t endear me to them but neither does good work so oh well.

All of which brings me back to the overall state of affairs here in the US. I look around these days and get the feeling that my company is just reflecting where we are as a country: falling faster and faster as the dysfunctional management team nods sagely at each passing floor and announces “Hey, we’re okay so far.” My employer has shipped nearly all manufacturing jobs out of the country and the monthly list of layoffs just keeps getting longer and longer. Everything is outsourced…oops, excuse me. I’m not supposed to use that term anymore. The jobs aren’t being outsourced, they’re being “best-shored”. As if calling it something else makes a shit sandwich taste good. Look at this, folks:

Right-click and open in the new window…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46r4yxttThw

People living in shanty towns here in America. In this day and age. In America, goddammit. How long until someone you know lives in one, too? Or maybe you’ll end up in one. Or me. More likely me, I suppose, but at least I’ll have government healthcare, right? Because the same bureaucratic thugs who run the local DMV deserve to be entrusted with managing our healthcare.

I guess I’ll just keep my head down and start sending out resumes again. This, too, shall pass. I hope. In the meantime, I note that while the “tarandfeathers.com” domain is taken, the “ropeandlampposts.com” domain isn’t. Might as well get a headstart on that, too. I’m sure we’ve all got plenty of candidates for that particular project. We’re already way over budget but maybe, just maybe, we can get it implemented on time.

Just a reminder….today is the final day of the 2009 Valour-IT online fundraiser. This doesn’t mean, of course, that you can’t continue to donate to Soldiers’ Angels and/or the Valour-IT program throughout the year. The Marine team has exceeded the per-team goal but the rest of the slackers teams need some help. If you’ve got some spare change, this is a truly worthwhile cause, folks.

Last but not least…..I’d like to say thank you to all veterans! Your service on behalf of our country is greatly appreciated!

Just a few more days remain of this year’s Valour-IT online fundraiser and overall we’re not doing well, folks. I’m pleased to see that the Marines are pretty much crushing the competition but still…even the Marines will need to stay focused in order to reach the per-team goal of $35,000 raised. The way things are going, it seems quite likely that the fundraiser will fall short of the overall goal of raising $140,000 for the program. The fundraiser only runs through Wednesday so if you’ve got some spare change, now’s the time to contribute. Let’s get fired up and do something worthwhile for the men and women who do so much for us.

You may have heard about this…

If the teams can blast through their collective goal of $140,000 and bring in an additional $100,000 in donations, Soldiers’ Angels founder Patti Patton-Bader and National Communications Director Shelle Michaels have promised to shave their heads in honor of the achievement.

How’s that for raising the stakes. In the same vein, my friend Laughing Wolf has extended a similar challenge for the Army team. Pretty impressive, if I do say so myself. I almost feel bad about posting a sneak peek at some of the Army fundraising team (see below). Still, a competition is a competition…

[Read more →]

Man… I’m seriously behind on this, so here’s an update, via our team leader, Cassandra:

If you haven’t yet done so, please consider a small donation to the Valour IT Marine team. We’ve managed to assemble a team of over 65 bloggers but it’s tough for us to compete with the larger services.

Until yesterday we had a $2000 lead over the Army and a $7-8000 lead over Air Force and Navy. But our position is being overrun. We need reinforcements!


[Read more →]

Click for full size

Soldiers’ Angels needs your help. Please donate here!

Work is keeping me busy as hell…I guess that’s a good thing these days, eh? Still, I’m sorry to say that I’m getting a late start to this year’s annual Valour-IT fundraiser/auction. The economy sucks and everyone (except Congress) is tightening their belts…but this is a very important cause and one that makes an enormous difference in the lives of some very important people. For example, read this and then double-check your wallet/purse to see if you’ve got a few bucks to spare. Maybe some of you can forgo a pumpkin spice latte or two? Come on, folks…let’s give something back and show some real, tangible support for those who make real, tangible sacrifices on our behalf.

When I had my own blog, I supported the Air Force team but figure that might be a bit tacky seeing where T1G’s loyalties lie. So once T1G gets a chance to sign up, we’ll have the official Marine Corp team widget here on the site. Of course, if he doesn’t sign up soon, I’ll sign up for the Air Force team anyhow. After all, Mrs. Greyhawk presents a rather compelling argument with this post, no? Until then, click the image and make a difference…

Thanks!

UPDATE: You better get a-movin, Josey. The Air Force team is making the Marines look like a bunch of hotdog-eating effetes and that’s just not true*.

* - With some exceptions, of course.  ::ahem::

Why is it so hard to write a post? Or actually post it? Seems fairly simple, but I can’t seem to make any progress.

So I’m using Skype to join in on conference calls for work, right? It’s great. I can sit at home in a comfy chair and use my headset & mic for participating. Unfortunately, I’m very used to using a Push-To-Talk mode, in which I must press, say, the CTRL key in order to activate my microphone. Alas, Skype doesn’t seem to work that way.

So, to all of the coworkers who patiently listened as I mocked my cats and made funny noises during the first minute or so of today’s training, I am truly sorry. Dunno ’bout you folks but I sure did learn something new today.

Once upon a time in a land not too far away, there lived a tiny, little nation of tiny, little people. They were an happy and industrious people and they marched about all day long on their tiny, little legs, doing their tiny, little jobs in their tiny, little workplaces. Then one day, the skies above their tiny, little heads turned dark and soon heavy rain poured down upon them. Rain, rain and more rain came down as tiny, little homes were flooded and tiny, little people were swept away by the cruel, uncaring waters. The tiny, little people were so distraught that they were unable to work and life was no longer quite so happy anymore in their tiny, little world. The tiny, little people were not quitters, though.

“We might be small but we won’t give up!” they shouted as they shook their tiny, little fists.

And so they rolled up their tiny, little sleeves and found a nice, dry place and began to make a new home for themselves. They loved their new home with all their tiny, little hearts. The land was beautiful with a mild climate and each day yielded plentiful amounts of food for their tiny, little tummies.

One day, a few tiny, little people stumbled across a vast, previously undiscovered land, full of the choicest, most delectable fruits and sweet, sweet waters. With tiny, little cries of joy, the tiny, little people called their friends and, as one, they all began to feast. They ate and they ate until their tiny, little bellies were near to bursting. And then they ate some more. As they gorged themselves on the wondrous feast, a few especially alert citizens pointed at the sky.

“Look!” they shouted. “It’s a miracle!”

And surely it was a miracle. Even as they watched, greater and greater quantities of food descended from the heavens. Tasting the new food, the tiny, little people all agreed - this was the sweetest ambrosia yet. Giving thanks to their tiny, little deities, the tiny, little people rejoiced and filled their bellies even more.

“If this proves anything,” said their tiny, little leader, “it’s that God loves us very, very much and has rewarded us for our industrious natures.” And except for a few tiny, little people with upset stomachs, all agreed.

“You just ate a bit too much,” their neighbors said to the few naysayers. “Rest for a bit and soon you’ll feel just fine!”

But in spite of rest, the naysayers didn’t feel just fine. They didn’t feel fine at all. In fact, more and more of their tiny, little neighbors also began to suffer from stomach aches.

“You just ate a bit too much,” their neighbors said to the increasing numbers of naysayers. “Rest for a bit and soon you’ll feel just fine!”

But they didn’t, either. Soon, all of the tiny, little people realized that something was very, very wrong. And something was very wrong, indeed, as inside their tiny, little tummies, the sweet ambrosia was slowly dehydrating them. As it did so, sharp-edged crystals formed and began to lacerate their tiny, little digestive tracts.

“Why, God? Why do you torment your people so?” they cried in their tiny, little voices as they writhed in pain.

Nothing they did seemed to help at all and so they gazed toward the skies and waited, seemingly in vain, for an answer. Finally, a voice like thunder roared down from the heavens in reply…

“Keep the hell out of my pantry!”

And, with any luck, every last one of the tiny, little fuckers died horrible, painful deaths.

The End.

Matt Burden, Mr. Blackfive, is making a jump… for Illinois.

For more than 20 years, I’ve served my country, fighting to protect and preserve the American freedoms, rights, and values that make this country great, first as an Airborne Soldier - and then as one of the leaders of the Internet political revolution that has held arrogant and corrupt leaders accountable from city halls all the way to Washington D.C.

After much thought and one helluva exploratory committee, the green light is on and I’m ready - I have decided to run for office.  I will change Illinois’ political landscape and culture of corruption.  But I can’t do it without your help…

While this makes Matt an official Politician, I’m thinking it’s alright.  As a matter of fact, it’s a damn good thing.

Give’em hell, Matt!

Eight and a wake up….

Snake with foot found in China

A snake with a single clawed foot has been discovered in China, according to reports.

Dean Qiongxiu, 66, said she discovered the reptile clinging to the wall of her bedroom with its talons in the middle of the night.

“I woke up and heard a strange scratching sound. I turned on the light and saw this monster working its way along the wall using his claw,” said Mrs Duan of Suining, southwest China.

Mrs Duan said she was so scared she grabbed a shoe and beat the snake to death before preserving its body in a bottle of alcohol.

No doubt our host would respond in the similar manner. Or at least, he’d beat the snake to death and then hide himself in a bottle of alcohol.

And look! There’s even a picture…

You’re welcome, dude.

p.s.: I’m betting that T1G posts a half dozen times in the next week just to get this picture off the front page. Heh.

p.p.s.: I’m gonna have to remember to bring one of these to Vegas next time. It might help prevent dehydration. For me, at least.

Head on over to Barmy Mama’s and congratulate her on the successful launch of her new son!

(Birth, not water balloon launcher.)

My sister sent me this poem that my 8 yr. old nephew wrote for school.

“I Can’t Write A Poem”
Forget it
You must be kidding
My hand does not work
My head can’t think
I don’t know what to write
It’s too lowd in here
I’m blind
My pencil is broke
I’m sleeping
I don’t know the alphabet
Time’s up? Uh Oh!
All I have is a list of dumb excuses.
You like it? Really? No kidding.
Thanks a lot. Would you like to see another one?

Kid sounds a bit like me, eh?

Stupid Hulu.

Stupid Facebook.

Two hours between getting home from work and going to bed.

Procrastination, sidetrackednosity, and sheer laziness.

I can say that I’ve not forgotten you, but I can’t say that I’ve not forsaken… but you folks ain’t the only ones. Emails pile up, phone calls have yet to be returned. (Purchased 1000 T-Mobile minutes last November. As of today? I’ve still got 617.)

I can say that I’m sorry, but I can’t repent…

I miss you bastards…

via here

Are lobbyists silver lining in health care storm?

A strong force, perhaps as powerful in Congress as President Barack Obama, is keeping the drive for health care going even as lawmakers seem hopelessly at odds.

Lobbyists.

Hahahahahahahaha! Yes, indeed. Let us be thankful for those wonderful lobbyists. And remember, folks  - we’ve always been at war with Eurasia.